Madoff, advises on how to screw with the SEC

From the man who has beat cancer during his 150 year stint in jail. Wait a minute! Madoff’s jailbird friends might have learned a trick or two from the shyster by starting the cancer rumor. Poor Bernie still has 150 years to live.

My lips are sealed and I will take the money to my grave.

How to: Screw with SEC

Bernie says:

1) "Obviously, first of all, this conversation never took place ... OK?"

2) "You know, you don't have to be too brilliant with these guys, because you don't have to be," Madoff said, referring to SEC investigators.

3) "You don't want to have that information because ... the commission, when they ask questions, they try and draw out information," Madoff said. "The less that you know how we execute ... the better you are."

4) "I'm the only one that can make the decision. ... I'm the only one that pulls the trigger."

5) "They ask you a zillion different questions and we look at them sometimes and we laugh, and we say, 'Are you guys writing a book?'"

6) Take a casual approach in dealing with the SEC. Executives should minimize the ties between the companies and not volunteer answers.

In conclusion, Bernie says "If I get any more solicitations for charity, I'm going to kill myself.

Bernie and wife enjoying $50 billion.