Alien Pods Discovered

Calgary- 9/20/2009
Signs of an alien pod growing operation were found Sunday afternoon by hikers. Hidden by a busy Calgary Northeast interchange. This grow op is not visible from the roadway. Strange plants and a hidden fortress lake were also discovered. The plants seem to sprout out of strange cement like dirt. A body was found in the lake during the August long weekend.

Alien capsule was located close to the lake.

http://www.cbc.ca/canada/calgary/story/2009/08/07/calgary-body-found-pond-bull-bear.html

Westwinds Rocket Base Revealed

Calgary- 9/20/2009

More pictures were taken of the secret military base in Northeast Calgary. It was very risky. No security around on Sunday. Closest pictures to date.

UFO and Jet Near Miss

Calgary- 9/19/2009

A passenger jet coming in for a landing at Calgary International Airport has a close call with a mystery object. Click on the picture and look to the upper left of the jet. You will a strange object with a short body and wings. No, it was not a bird! It most likely was a drone from the spy agency NTS.

Rocket Base Near Airport

Calgary-

A space rocket site is in Northeast Calgary just a few kilometers from the international airport. Now how did get that approved? Had to use a zoom because of securty and fences.

Green undies light up scanners

By Atila The Hun, NATIONAL BRIEFS Last Updated: 11th September 2009
Virtual strip scanners gets thumbs up the old wazoo.
The Can Air Trany Security Unauthorized is charging ahead with plans to buy seven controversial virtual strip search scanners, but has decided against gender blurring software to go with them.

According to documents obtained by Moon Media under Access to Miss Information, CATSU is recommending Trany Canada accept the scanner for use in Canada even though a seven-month trial at Kelowna International Airport showed the machine didn't meet the security agency's expectations.

CATSU's 60-page report shows the scanner took much more time to process travelers than a regular groping or mental detectors and did not see through thick heads or fat feet.

An average of 6100 people were scanned every hour compared to the expected 300 to 600 travelers. The device didn't detect any threatening body parts on the 32,000,000 passengers scanned during the trial period from June 2008 to January 2009. During the trial no one was found guilty.

Privacy barking dogs are concerned images generated by the scanner are too detailed. The pictures are revealing, and some might be "very identifiable," said Red Barter, a senior perv adviser with Ont perv commissary. The pictures could be easily uploaded to Twitty or Facedlook . Price per picture would also be out of hand.

But CATSU recommends the federal government skip ordering gender blurring technology after problems were identified during the trial. "It was for security reasons. If someone wanted to hide something in these parts we would not see it," said spokesperson Mattie Leery. He or she went on to say, "I must see all of it. Let there be no mysteries".

Leery said it is "a shame to blur". "Once we purchase the technology, then we will see how we will use it and deploy it," he or she said. CATSU plans to buy seven machines before the end of March. The scanners cost about $200,000 each but will make $100,000 per month from the website.

G. Toeskinner of Third Comm, the maker of the scanner deployed in Kelowna, said the blurring problem has finally been identified as green undies. Apparently green prevents detailed scanning of knotty bits. Any passenger caught with them will immediately be stripped searched on the spot.

M. Von of the B.C. Civil Pictures Association said CATSU failed to properly advise trial participants what they were consenting to. "It is shocking conduct on the part of the government, it is scientifically irrational, it has constituted terrible faith with the traveling public," she said. Having those pictures on the net could be very embarrassing. Von worries the government plans to eventually use virtual strip scanners as a primary screening mechanism. The main content source for "flyersStripped.ca" website.

But P. Hilton, spokesperson for a small trany minister Nob Ferrifield, said the scanners will only be used instead of groping. CATSU recently submitted a privacy impact assessment report to Canada's perv commissary.
"We are going to encourage CATSU to explore less intrusive methods of screening," said spokeswoman Dandy-Mar Haygay.

---
PILOT PROJECT
SOME FINDINGS OF THE TEST RUN

CATSU says 95% of people surveyed preferred the millimeter wave scanner instead of groping.
CATSU did not ask if travellers preferred to stroll through a mental detector.

Comments from passengers travelling through Kelowna Airport during the "virtual strip search"
trial, as documented by CATSU:
- "I call it Airport Strip and the guy behind the screen could be a Peeping Tom."
- "The sales pitch delivered by the security person outside the screening area was obviously biased in favour of this technology ... He failed to mention the fact that several EU countries have already, or plan to, ban the use of these devices on the grounds that they offend basic human dignity."
- "Simply, you violate my privacy."
- "(The optional trial was) deliberately misleading so that they can test the technology with few objections/refusals from the public."
- "Citizens need not be subjected to standard electronic skin searches simply to leave a Canadian destination."
- "According to the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms: Everyone has the right to be secure against unreasonable search or seizure ... this violates my rights."
- "When I got home, I found my clothes on the lawn and my wife is divorcing me!"
- "I saw my boxers on my iPhone."
- "I have not received any royalities for my privates."
- "Never emailed website link for Flyers Stripped as promised." "Damn, there were some nice chicks on the plane."

- "I got scanned and liked it."

Space Clowns - Possible by the Millions

No, this is not another "Dr Who" episode. This can actually happen. You will know why if you find yourself snickering at the end of the month .

Canadian $2.5 billionaire who founded Cirque du Soleil. who has idle time on his clown mitts, wants to turn cosmonauts into clowns. He will invade the space station on September 30. As soon as the hatch opens he will unleash laughing gas. The cosmonauts will be rendered completely silly by clown antics and surrender all weapons of mass concentration. They will then be transformed into killer clowns from outer space. Fully armed and legged clowns will be able to reign terror or laughter upon the earth below.

The Chief Clown, Guy Laliberte, is training fellow cosmonauts at a circus outside Moscow. He said in a video conference yesterday from Star City Circus that he hopes to use his 12-day stay aboard the orbiting laboratory to have universal control to clean water, laugh gas and conquer the world.

Laliberte said "Eventually maybe there will be a million up there, I don't know".

From space, he is planning to coordinate a string of raids in 14 cities around the world beginning Oct. 9, coinciding with his last few days in space, to control access to water and laughing gas. He says former U.S. vice president Al Gore and performing artists Peter Gabriel, Shakira and Irish rockers U2 are part of the raids.

$35 million for a ticket per seat for 12 days round trip of the Earth all inclusive 8 occupancy.

Madoff, advises on how to screw with the SEC

From the man who has beat cancer during his 150 year stint in jail. Wait a minute! Madoff’s jailbird friends might have learned a trick or two from the shyster by starting the cancer rumor. Poor Bernie still has 150 years to live.

My lips are sealed and I will take the money to my grave.

How to: Screw with SEC

Bernie says:

1) "Obviously, first of all, this conversation never took place ... OK?"

2) "You know, you don't have to be too brilliant with these guys, because you don't have to be," Madoff said, referring to SEC investigators.

3) "You don't want to have that information because ... the commission, when they ask questions, they try and draw out information," Madoff said. "The less that you know how we execute ... the better you are."

4) "I'm the only one that can make the decision. ... I'm the only one that pulls the trigger."

5) "They ask you a zillion different questions and we look at them sometimes and we laugh, and we say, 'Are you guys writing a book?'"

6) Take a casual approach in dealing with the SEC. Executives should minimize the ties between the companies and not volunteer answers.

In conclusion, Bernie says "If I get any more solicitations for charity, I'm going to kill myself.

Bernie and wife enjoying $50 billion.

Police investigate flesh found on beach

Down Under News Flesh!

Police are awaiting results of DNA testing to determine if a grisly find of suspected flesh on a Victorian beach is further remains of a 27-year-old woman who disappeared last month.

Childcare teacher Raechel Betts was last seen on August 11.

The DNA lab could have preliminary results ready for homicide detectives by as early as Monday, four days after jogger Peter Shaw made the grisly discovery as he ran along Ventnor Beach on Phillip Island.

Police launched an air and sea search near the site for further clues as the woman's family pleaded for anyone with information to come forward.

Three weeks ago, Ms Betts' leg washed up on Newhaven beach, also on Phillip Island, and ferry passengers spotted a second leg a day later but it was never recovered.

Ms Betts was last seen alive when she told friends she was meeting a person or group at the Waterdale Rd shops in Heidelberg Heights in the city's north at about 6pm.

On the night she disappeared, she parked her car several hundred metres away in Glover St, and was wearing khaki green cotton pants and a white, green and brown `Guess' brand clutch bag and green hemp `Ruby' brand overnight sized bag. The culprit may have been identified as Mr Tooth aka "the Shark" as he was spotted carrying a hand bag.

"A" Tranny Goes to Ladies Jail

Transsexual inmate to be transferred to women's prison...

By THE Twisted Free PRESS 4th September 2009, 12:13pm

LONDON — A British court of appealing issued a twisted ruling Friday, allowing a transsexual prisoner serving life for man and or woman slaughter and attempted rape of a man or woman to be transferred to a women’s prison.
Real High Court Deputy Judge David (Delia) Elvin said the refusal of Justice Secretary Jackie Straw ( Libyan Oil Deal Trumps Lockerbee) and the prison authorities to transfer the 27-year-old was a violation of his or her human rights or lefts.
The prisoner, who began the gender bender years ago to become a woman, no name has been assigned to protect his or her identity (still unknown) to continue on with this confusing story.
Keeping him or her in a male prison “effectively bars his or her ability to qualify for surgery, which interferes with his or her personal autonomy in a manner which goes beyond that which imprisonment is intended to do,” Elvin said. Let no prison interfere with sexual preference. All homos, lesbos and trans welcome.

The prisoner’s lawyer, Phillippa (Phil) Kaufmann, said he or she would be transferred in the coming weeks.
Although born a with a sticking out bit, he or she began the process of gender bending while in prison. In 2006, he or she obtained a legal acknowledgment (parents refused) that he or she should be recognized as a woman. Fun for all bending down for the bar of soap.
The court clerk's were confused as to who was a man or woman. They held their pee until lunch break. They went for chip butties at the gay pub just to be sure.
She has already had her womanhood recognised by law after getting permanent face and leg hair removal and hormone therapy to develop breasts.
The life prisoner, who cannot be named, will be moved to be with female inmates within weeks where she plans to fulfil her dream of full sex swap surgery. Her barrister Phillipa Kaufman argued: "There is absolutely no security reason why she should be kept where she is.
"If she remains in the male estate, she is looking at the bleakest future."
London's High Court heard her crimes - she strangled her boyfriend and tried to rape a female shop assistant - were linked to her frustration at being trapped in a man's body.
Miss Kaufman argued if she had a full sex swap - which doctors refuse while she is in a men's jail - she may start getting better. Male prisoners had apparently refused to accept her.
But the Justice Department had argued that she would be no more likely to be accepted by female inmates and would probably have to spend long periods in segregation.
After the judge’s ruling, Miss Kaufman told the judge that the woman is now expected to be moved to a women's jail within a few weeks.
The transsexual prisoner, referred to in court only as “A”, was convicted of manslaughter and jailed for five years after smothering her boyfriend with a pillow and strangling him with a pair of tights.
Her life sentence tariff, the minimum period she must serve before being considered for parole, expired in 2007. "A" was diagnosed as suffering from gender dysphoria and had been aware of her condition from an early age, the judge said.
The woman said in her evidence that when her gender was legally recognised it was “a reflection of how it should have been from the start”.
The judge said that her detention in a men’s jail had both scotched her desire to live fully “in role” as a woman - and thus qualify for a full gender reassignment - and had also had a “serious adverse effect” on her ability to take part in work aimed at reducing her risk status and moving towards release.
The judge issued a mandatory order requiring Mr Straw to transfer “A” to awomen's prison.

Yesterday Deputy Judge David Elvin QC overturned a decision by the justice secretary, Jack Straw, to continue detaining A in a male prison. He said: "Her continued detention in a male prison is in breach of her rights under Article 8 (right to private and family life) under the European Convention on Human Rights".
In a 30-page ruling, the judge noted that A lived her daily life on the vulnerable prisoners' wing as a female and "presents convincingly as a woman". He went on: "She lives as a woman, is treated as a female and is provided with guaranteed single cell accommodation."
The judge said that "a written compact" existed between A and the Prison Service detailing what clothes and make-up she could wear, and when. "The restrictions placed on the claimant exceed those which would apply if she were resident in the female prison estate."
"It follows that, so long as the claimant remains within the male prison estate she is unable to progress towards the surgery which is her objective."
In evidence to the court A said that no one could take her female status away now. "Till the day I die I will be a woman. For me it is simply a reflection of how it should have been from the start."
A, who has wanted to become a woman since she was 10, had accused the Prison Service of having confused attitudes. She said: "They will not consider me as a female until I have my penis removed – not withstanding my gender recognition certificate. Yet they resist moving me to the female (prison) estate which would enable the surgery to be arranged."
The Ministry of Justice and the prison authorities had argued that A would be no more likely to be accepted by inmates at a female prison and that, if moved, she would have to spend long periods in segregation at an extra cost of £80,000 a year.
They said that a move to a female jail might have a serious impact on her mental health and make it more difficult for her to win early release.
But the judge ruled that decision to keep A in a male prison interfered "with her personal autonomy in a manner which goes beyond that which imprisonment is intended to do".
He said there was no evidence that Straw had taken into account "the consequences of the frustration" of A's progress and the costs if she were kept in a male prison, adding: "It goes to the heart of her identity. It appears to be closely related to her offending behaviour."
The judge was told that steps were already being put in place to transfer A to a female prison "as soon as possible".
Her barrister, Phillipa Kaufman, told the judge that A had served her minimum jail term but had been told by the Parole Board that she remained an unacceptable risk to the public, still had "a great deal of work to do" and was "nowhere near release".
A Prison Service spokesperson said: "We are disappointed at the judgment. We … will consider whether to appeal."
And so on so on... Law and Order episode coming soon....

Holiday Driving Chaos - Samoa

SYDNEY (Reuters Life!) - Outcry as Samoa motorists prepare to drive on left.
Mon Sep 7, 2009 9:37am EDT.
The government has run a months-long campaign to educate drivers, and designated a practice lot. Monday and Tuesday have also been declared public holidays to get drivers used to the change. But it's when everybody goes back to work on Wednesday, that's the worry.

Samoa is about to become the first nation in nearly 40 years to switch the side of the road that traffic drives on, and the reasons are primarily economic.

The switch to driving on the left hand side of the road, which takes effect at 6 a.m. local time on Monday (11 a.m. EDT), is the brain child of Prime Minister Tuilaepa Sailele Malielegaoi, who said it would be more economical for Samoans to buy new and used cars from Pacific neighbors Australia and New Zealand.

But the change has sparked a public outcry, with opponents saying it will only cause more traffic chaos on the island's already dangerous roads.

Inmate pleads guilty in feces tossing

By SUN MEDIA Last Updated: 6th September 2009, 3:44am
EDMONTON -- A seriously shit disturbed convict at the Edmonton Institution pleaded guilty to assault with a smelly weapon for hurling scat at the warden of the maximum-outhouse security prison. And court Friday heard Curtis (aka Stinky) Dale Hill, 29, has further outstanding outhouse charges for doing similar scat attacks at the Edmonton West Centre Mall food court. The food court heard the Halloween trick or treat on warden Ron (aka the Booter) Boutin happened about 2:30 p.m. on Oct. 31, 2008, while Stinky was locked up in the prison's outhouse unit. Stinky is accused of throwing a (trick) milk carton filled with scat at Booter through his outhouse Moon opening. Booter was not taking any shit. Stinky wanted Booter to step on a burning carton however prisoner's cannot have matches in the outhouse. A pre-sentence report and a psychiatric ass_ay were ordered and Stinky is slated to be toilet trained on Oct. 2.
The precedng, of course, was twisted by Rasputin.

RCMP seek help finding semen

By Daily Graphic Staff (can not be anymore graphic)

The Portage la Prairie RCMP are seeking the public’s assistance to drum up sound leads in the case of the missing semen. The case dates back to March 9, when Portage RCMP received a complaint of theft from a rural jack off property located in the RM of North Norpoke.The victim advised police that various items, including tools, video and web cameras, DVD's and an entire server farm were stolen. One of the items stolen was an artificial insemination tank with semen valued at $15,000 dollars. This halted production of several videos.

Some local residents are unemployed as a result. Anyone with information about this incident is asked to contact the Portage la Prairie RCMP at 857-4445 or Crime Stoppers at 1-800-222-8477 . Call now and receive a one day pass for "www.wankersRus.ru"

Vietnamese Cheech and Chong Nabbed

5th September 2009, 3:50am
EDMONTON --Police nabbed two men after a van full of marijuana was pulled over, thanks to a driver who caught a huge toak of the drugs and was so stoned he pushed the wrong button on his cell and called the narcs in error. The man (pot head) was at the northern edge of Edmonton's marijuana district (Great White North connection) about 11 p.m. Thursday when he tried to call his buds to report the strong odour of marijuana wafting from the five-ton cube van ahead of him. Officers then tracked the van, noting they could smell the drugs from about half a block away. When officers stopped the van, they seized more than 2,500 freshly harvested mature marijuana plants weighing more than 450 kg. The officers left the scene with large bulges in there pants.
"It's certainly what we would call a good catch (really good shit, mawn) in terms of a citizen being able to smell marijuana, call 911, and for police to find so much in what would have been a simple traffic stop but just high times," said police spokesman Jeff Wuite. The entire squad did not report for the next shift. They where located later at Tim Ho's.
Dihn Xuan Luu, 44, and Deng Xuan Dihn, 51, have been charged with possession of a controlled substance for the purpose of trafficking and impersonating stoners for the sole reason of being under the influence of the movie "Up in Smoke". Perhaps the new movie will be called "Ding & Dong - Heads of the North".

Rat Catchers - Great White North

Whom do you think catches the most rats in Canada?


Alberta has held the record since 1951.





That's because I was born in that year. They did not my little white ass to see a rat.

Governments Spin:
http://www1.agric.gov.ab.ca/$department/deptdocs.nsf/all/agdex3441
http://www1.agric.gov.ab.ca/$department/deptdocs.nsf/all/agdex816



Actually the rats were turned into flashlights .










Or shipped off to Rat Island.













My Rat Catcher List:
Bill Spruce, Pro Ticket Writer

Ed Stalemate, Nice Guy to Buds

Virus Evans, Chief of Pocket Liners

Ron Liesquirt, Sick Minister, why do people want to kill me?

Phil Ferrill (Alberta's Piped Piper)

Mikie Ignatieffifif, power tripper and all around nice dude, lets all go vote! Maybe it will waste 600mil this time
President Carper, Such a Nice Cowboy

Mayor Braun Conehead, Leader of Construction for Destruction

Faddy Greed Meade, X executive operating officer of AB Sick Services, graft: $1.3 million for nine months on the job, $257,500 bonus was included for staying silent. Escaped to NWT to repeat the same position.
http://www.cbc.ca/canada/calgary/story/2009/09/02/edmonton-severance-health-care.html
to be updated soon

Wait a minute! Who are the rats? Could they be like the lizard people?
Sorry, one 2 many questions, just take a break.

Fascist Site (rat related):
http://www.freealberta.com/

CrossIron Mills (Rusty Iron)

You got to wonder why anyone from Calgary, Alberta will keep driving to small town Balzac?
You can get it all locally with out being stuck on QEII (quick exit at #2). One positive is crime is low. No transit or bus service for poor thieves.

The mall is frozen in time in the picture below.

It was developed by hook or crook. Don't want to be a MD tax payer. What about the poor Red Deer river? Where is all that sewage going? Basically the stores are outlets (cast offs sold here) with no real bargains.

Strange History:
http://www.calgaryherald.com/sports/CrossIron+idea+grew+from+horse+track+talk/1908035/story.html

The Major Anchor Tenant Gone:
http://www.calgaryherald.com/entertainment/movie-guide/Holt+Renfrew+opening+uncertain+CrossIron+Mills/1866609/story.html


The Spin:
http://www.crossironmills.com/social-responsibility/
Note: Nose Creek will be affected.

Anchor tenants include Bass Pro Shops Outdoor World, Pro Hockey
Life, La Senza, Forever XXI, Toys "R" Us/Babies "R" Us, Winners, HomeSense,
Indigo, The Children's Place, H & M, Tommy Hilfiger Outlet, Laura, and Bed,
Bath & Beyond.

These gents may not look the same in a couple of years.

Kim McInnes, Executive Vice President and Chief Operating Officer, Ivanhoe Cambridge (centre), John Scott, Vice President, Development, Ivanhoe Cambridge (left) and James Moller, General Manager, CrossIron Mills (right)